so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She needs sedatives and a leash
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
