it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
