You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
