Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
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