He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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