i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize