I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
