no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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