Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
