Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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