I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
