She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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