6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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