Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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