There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
