So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize