so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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