Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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