How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
