There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
