Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
