i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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