I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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