I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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