Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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