We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
