I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
