trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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