i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize