She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
pray to the hookup gods
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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