So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
