Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
