my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
