Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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