Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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