Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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