She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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