so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
