loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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