You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize