I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
