he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
