there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
