I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
