I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
