just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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