I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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