ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
