Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
