i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize