i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
