party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You are the jesus of drinking
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
