Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
