I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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