So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize