How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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