lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
