sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
